Just Swell

“You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It’s time that you won”

I’ve been through enough and I just wish that I could win,  just once. Ya’ know?  I’ve been through a bunch of shit and I wish I could just be proud of myself and feel like what I have done is an accomplishment. I wish I could feel like I was worth something. Me starting to apply to colleges isn’t making me feel any better about myself. I don’t have the smarts, or the money.  I should just give up, work at McDonald’s and work the streets at night.

 

Oh, hey WordPress. I’m back.

Woman King

After not writing in this forever I have decided my New Years resolutions is to write in a kitty cat notebook I got for Christmas. If I like any of the entries I make maybe I’ll add them on here.  Sorry if anyone ever read this thing. Which I doubt. Maybe my journal will become as famous as Anne Franks. I doubt it. I can dream though. Can’t I?

Eternity could never be enough.

Diesel

This tiny insectivore is one of the two things that keeps me going. I wake up and say good morning and check on his food/water. Right before bed I check on him and give him food and water. And of course at 8.30pm till 9.00pm I snuggle with the hufflepuff. I’ve spent tons of my time (and money) on this little guy and that still isn’t enough. I wish I could take him to school and give him all that a hedgie would need. I’m a sucker for animals.

I give up.

School has already taken everything out of me. I can’t finish a god damn blog without getting tired. I can’t even connect the words from my brain, to fall out of my fingers, on to the keyboard, to here. Blasphemy I tell ya’

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Interlude Pt. 2

FINALLY I GOT A TREADMILL! It’s not in perfect shape, but it will do. I ran for about twenty minutes and my calves started to kill, I forget to stretch. So, I stretched and ran for another ten minutes. Running feels so good, leaving all your problems behind. Aww man, it’s like a drug. I would never run for a team though, I don’t want to pay someone so I can run. That’s so dumb. Why would anyone pay so they could play a sport?

I’m trying to eat healthier. I am! I had ten strawberries instead of chips today. I really got to lose weight. Insanely. I’m gettin’ chubbier. My face is even swollen.

Well, my face is swollen because of the TMJ. Oh yah, I have TMJ. Fun stuff. And, my wisdom teeth are gunna have to come out too. So, I’m getting those taken out, and then MAYBE my TMJ will go away. And if not, I’ll have my braces put back on or jaw surgery. Fuck braces though, I’m not getting them put back on. My chiropractor also gave my things to do to help with the TMJ so maybe I’ll get better after a few weeks. It’s only been one so far. Getting my wisdom teeth taken out is gunna suck though. (Fun Fact: I only have three) Swollen(er) face and not being able to eat. Oh well I guess. Can’t do much about it.

P.S: I think my mom has a job?

Cry Baby

So, the whole Andrew/Heather thing.

Basically Heather said I wasn’t allowed to touch Andrew. Okay, big deal. No, she took it to the extremes thinking I pretty much raped him. Yah dude. Okay. So, I told her to leave me alone because I wasn’t sucking his dick, or fucking him. She got even more pissed and said Andrew doesn’t even wanna be my friend, and he agreed with her. Which, I know is a total lie. I even have proof. But, oh well. Guys these days don’t have the balls to stand up to their girlfriends, or any girl for that matter. Still, him agreeing with her made me so mad, and so upset that I was crying and shaking uncontrolably. Deanna, and Minni tried to comfort me at lunch while I was crying/shaking/ and telling them what happend. And, I never cry in school. I’ve cried maybe, twice. But never as hard, or publicly as I did that day.

Best part of that day was going to my schools bonfire and having one of my boyfriends friends dedicate a song to me. And, bah. His band is really good. I moshed and jumped around all night and had an overall good time with my friends. I really miss that. Going to shows, hangingout, being goofs, laughing at nothing, everything.

We arn’t friends anymore.

So, pretty much it was Superhero day at school and a group of my friends planned to dress up as The Sailor Scouts (Sailor Moon people) annnd. None of them did except me so I looked like a total fool. I dressed up as Sailor Jupiter, and my costume made me look like a Japanese hoe.

Jonny, my MicMac bestie, dressed up as Raphael the Ninja Turtle. He stole his sister’s clothes and he looked mighty fine in them if I do say so myself. He’s also helping me correct this damn thing because I suck at life and I have nothing better to do in VHS since I finished my work. But, I gotta make it look like I’m doing my work.

Thursday Tyler has his first game so I have to cancel my driving lesson so I can go to his game. Yay.

OH MY GOD! The bestest thing happened today. I was talking about how in kindergarten my best friend was a kid who’s ear got bitten off by a dog, and I went to kindergarten in Worcester. And Andrew was like “Ah! I did too!”

Me: “Was his name EJ?!”

Andrew: “Yeah!”

Me: “Oh my gosh! Was there a girl there that threw up on her Barney doll?!”

Andrew: “YEAH!!!”

ME: “OH MY GOD! THAT WAS MEE!”

That pretty much made my day. So, pretty much Andrew and I went to the same Kindergarten and I’m still dressed like a whore.

Is there a difference between a hoe and a whore?

P.S: I wrote this on Tuesday of last week and didn’t publish it till today. Oh well. In a matter of those five days Andrew and I are no longer friends. Maybe I’ll write about it in another post.

Hanging From a Telephone Wire.

            So, pretty much I’m a complete liar. I haven’t updated everyday. I’m too busy with school and, bah, everything. I’m making excuses though. I tend to do that. I’d lie to a teacher saying my grandma was sick and that I had to baby-sit my two year old nephew and he was crying all day just to get a day or two extra to finish an essay. I guess it was for the better of things. I did the essay, I just wanted to touch it up and add some more things. Eh.

 

            Last night I had the weirdest dream, Efren was in it. He was pretty much just talking to me about how everything is going to be okay and he’s always there looking after me, Deanna, and everyone else he loved. And, Iunno. I did feel like everything was going to be alright in that moment. Then a bunch of feathers kinda rained down on me and when the last one fell, I woke up. I laid there for a while and I think I’ve decided to get a feather tattooed on me somewhere. Like, for Efren and my Dad. That would be coolio.

I got my cootie shot.

How do you explain a summer when pretty much nothing happened? All I did was sit around and be lazy. I probably gained 20 pounds or something horrible like that, I really need to get back in shape. Man, It’s so nasty I sat around all day doing nothing like a 35634598 pound person. I’m gunna end up like that when I’m older. Uck, I’d rather become anorexic before letting that happen. I never really thought about it but: when I’m upset or in a bad mood I either eat or clean. Mostly eat. That’s such a horrible habit to have. People gain so much from that. And then they eat more because their fat and no one will fuck them. Will I end up like that?

Well, one good thing happened this summer. New Hampshire. I went with Alex and his family. It was really fun, we kayaked, we ate sammiches, we swam, we hung out in caves, and bah. So fun! The only thing Alex and I hated about it was that we couldn’t sleep in the same bed. But, hey, I understand why. At least we were in the same room. The place we stayed at was so beautiful as well. I’ll put a picture up later. :)

I really needa update this more often. Atleast once a week. I keep on sayin’ that. But, I really will this time. I have nothing better to do anyways!

Súbete la mini-falda hasta la espalda.

Update? Yes.

It’s been 373 days since Alexander and I have been dating. So, it’s been a bit more than a year. :) I really honestly don’t see myself with anyone else. He’s so good to me, and cares, and all this hubub you’d want in a boyfriend/fiancée/husband. I know for a fact he’s going to me every single one of those to me. And he’s going to be even more amazing than he is now. And I will love him more and more every single day.

My mom found some cheesy little baby names books. So, I looked through them and wrote down all the names I like. Then single that down to three names for each gender! ahaha I’m THAT cool. And not bored all the time. Nope, not at all. XD

Oh! Oh! Oh! I got my hedgie! His name is Diesel! :3

Hedgie Bag

Ball

Sleeepin'